I want to travel the world for a year but he doesn’t

Dear Ms. Understanding,

I am a 25-year-old woman in a relationship for three years with a man who is eight years older. I can’t stand my job and am currently planning to fulfill my longstanding dream of taking a year-long trip around the world. I’ve saved up money, done a ton of research—including ways of making spare cash while out on the road, like being a courier for messenger services or cleaning sailboats in harbor towns. I feel happy and excited when I’m making these plans, and I long to make them come true. The only problem here is my boyfriend. He’s squarely in the career building phase of his life, and says that he can’t imagine taking a whole year off of work. Sometimes he’ll talk about coming with me in a dreamy sort of way, but in the light of day—he backs off of this. If I go without him, I’m afraid it will break up the relationship, but when I think of not taking this trip, it makes me so incredibly sad. What should I do? Signed, Wanderlusting

Dear Wanderlusting,

Quit your job and travel the world for a year. Those of us who didn’t do so in our twenties do regret it. We all thought we’d just go later, but never anticipated that our priorities would involuntarily shift with age and that we’d soon be inexplicably captivated by things like the thread count of our bedsheets. The instinct to give yourself some grand experiences is a good one. When you’re someday feeling stifled by the monotony of a daily routine, you’ll be able to conjure up memories of that time you took the night ferry to Crete, swam with the dusky dolphins off the coast of New Zealand, spent that month in Timbuktu, and so on. Plan the trip, set a date, buy the ticket. Let your fella know so he can come along if he wants to, but if he doesn’t—don’t let that stand in your way. Go. With or without him.