Dear Ms. Understanding,
I’m a 42-year-old man who has been divorced for about 5 years. I’m really enjoying the whole dating thing, but I’m not sure how to cut things off when I realize I’m not interested in someone longterm. I hate the thought of hurting anyone’s feelings, so I just sorta go along with things and try to have a good time, but I’m usually wishing I was somewhere else. I’m normally a straight shooter, so how do I do I taper things off without being a complete jerk? Signed, Feeling Dishonest
Dear Feeling Dishonest,
“Tapering things off” doesn’t really work in this case; the success of such a thing depends on your ability to be fairly neat and tidy about it. Make it a relatively short conversation…something along the lines of how unbelievably fantastic the other person is, but that it’s just not working out for you. That’s really all the explanation required. Getting drawn into a long conversation is almost always a mistake in this situation; you’re not doing anyone any favors by pretending there’s room for negotiation when there isn’t. Be kind, but be clear. Indecision in these matters can be far more cruel than a clean, simple break.
